Thomas Edison Would Be So Proud
My friends, I have discovered that 1500 words is a lot easier for me than 500, probably because I feel the need to beat every subject into submission. These 500 word posts are taking me almost as long as the long ones did, and are turning out rather crappy. However, for now I will continue on with the short ones and hope they improve. In the interest of providing my few readers with something that is not cranky or reminiscent of a rant, I have decided once again to try to write a post for the positive side. Here is Part One of what will be a periodic series describing some recent inventions (or inventions that I’ve recently discovered) that I believe have really improved life on the planet for all of mankind:
Press ‘n’ Seal Plastic Wrap. I don’t know when plastic wrap was invented, but it seems to me that the plastic wrap industry was resting on its laurels for many a decade. It never occurred to anyone to make plastic wrap that would not only stick to the container that you were trying to cover but also keep the air away from the thing you were trying to preserve? This stuff tears like a dream and once kept half a head of cauliflower in my refrigerator from turning brown for over a week. The great mind behind this product needs to be feted at the Kennedy Center and then sent home with a piece of cake (tightly sealed to its plate by Press ‘n’ Seal Plastic Wrap).
Continuous Spray Sunscreen. I suppose it is possible that the propellants in this type of sunscreen are actually contributing to the hole in the ozone layer that we are attempting to protect ourselves from. Nevertheless, I hate putting on sunscreen, and now that I have 3 kids and a husband, I hate it 4 times more than I used to, because now I am responsible for warding off skin cancer for the whole family, not just me. I have been waiting and waiting for somebody to invent an easier way to put on sunscreen, and finally they have. The only complaint I have about this stuff is that we used up one can in less than a week and the can is unrecyclable. However, for arms and necks and faces on the average day that we are going to the playground or swimming pool, I think I’m going to have to turn my back on mother earth and just use it. It’s made my life that much better.
90-Second Rice. I know this also has nonrecyclable packaging and flies in the face of my resolutions to try to keep the earth cleaner, but rice in 90 seconds? What could be better than that? It makes the five minutes you need to make couscous seem like an eternity. Now some days I can get dinner on the table for the kids in 3 minutes (cut up a ham steak, rinse off some frozen peas, and microwave the rice). With all the freaking cooking I have to do these days, I am sticking with the 90-second rice at least until the HP comes home. Not to mention the fact that the kiddies love it, and sometimes specifically ask for it, as in “Are we having 90 second rice?” or “Can I have some more 90 second rice?” Uncle Ben, you had me at “90 seconds.”
So there you have it, three things that may hasten the destruction of the planet, but that make me ever so happy. Maybe I can find ways to offset the additional trash I am producing by using this stuff. Perhaps we could start a trash trading market like the emissions trading market they have now, and I could buy some trash points from one of those families in Vermont that only puts out one can of trash per year. To me, no price could be too high.
Press ‘n’ Seal Plastic Wrap. I don’t know when plastic wrap was invented, but it seems to me that the plastic wrap industry was resting on its laurels for many a decade. It never occurred to anyone to make plastic wrap that would not only stick to the container that you were trying to cover but also keep the air away from the thing you were trying to preserve? This stuff tears like a dream and once kept half a head of cauliflower in my refrigerator from turning brown for over a week. The great mind behind this product needs to be feted at the Kennedy Center and then sent home with a piece of cake (tightly sealed to its plate by Press ‘n’ Seal Plastic Wrap).
Continuous Spray Sunscreen. I suppose it is possible that the propellants in this type of sunscreen are actually contributing to the hole in the ozone layer that we are attempting to protect ourselves from. Nevertheless, I hate putting on sunscreen, and now that I have 3 kids and a husband, I hate it 4 times more than I used to, because now I am responsible for warding off skin cancer for the whole family, not just me. I have been waiting and waiting for somebody to invent an easier way to put on sunscreen, and finally they have. The only complaint I have about this stuff is that we used up one can in less than a week and the can is unrecyclable. However, for arms and necks and faces on the average day that we are going to the playground or swimming pool, I think I’m going to have to turn my back on mother earth and just use it. It’s made my life that much better.
90-Second Rice. I know this also has nonrecyclable packaging and flies in the face of my resolutions to try to keep the earth cleaner, but rice in 90 seconds? What could be better than that? It makes the five minutes you need to make couscous seem like an eternity. Now some days I can get dinner on the table for the kids in 3 minutes (cut up a ham steak, rinse off some frozen peas, and microwave the rice). With all the freaking cooking I have to do these days, I am sticking with the 90-second rice at least until the HP comes home. Not to mention the fact that the kiddies love it, and sometimes specifically ask for it, as in “Are we having 90 second rice?” or “Can I have some more 90 second rice?” Uncle Ben, you had me at “90 seconds.”
So there you have it, three things that may hasten the destruction of the planet, but that make me ever so happy. Maybe I can find ways to offset the additional trash I am producing by using this stuff. Perhaps we could start a trash trading market like the emissions trading market they have now, and I could buy some trash points from one of those families in Vermont that only puts out one can of trash per year. To me, no price could be too high.
posted by Shannon at 11:04 PM
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